I consider it my duty to let my readers know what all the cool kids are doing and, today, the cool kids are doing this.

  1. Go to Google Images
  2. Search for your full name
  3. See that very first picture? That’s you that is.

Here’s me:

body builder

Which, for some reason, reminds me of that thing where you take the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on to get your porn star name (Uncle Muncher Cray, if you were wondering). Such a disappointment… when I could have been a virtuoso violinist…

 

Violin

 

…or a baseball star…

 

Baseball

 

…or even a mailman (Oh! The postman always gets the mail…)…

 

Mailman

I am just glad I didn’t end up as this guy…

 

Criminal

 

 

…who is probably the same guy who is wanted for stealing cars in Kentucky and made it so hard for me to get a driving license when I first came to the States.

Anyway, I haven’t googled myself for a while and, when I did, I came up with a New Rule:

When you google your own name, if you show up on the first page, your life is a success.

Yay! I Win!

I am only a little sad that some other Kevin Lawrence is the official Coach Kevin.