Web That Smut

Back in the old days, we used to play a game on the internet called “web that smut”.

The basic idea was that you’d pick a page – say, the home page of Nike – and your opponent would say “I can web that smut in 12” . Then you’d bid down in the manner of “Name That Tune”.

  • I can web that smut in 11
  • I can web that smut in 8
  • Web that Smut!!

The challengee would then be obliged to – just by clicking, no typing – get from the Nike home page to a porn site in 8 clicks. The basic strategy was that if you could get to the yahoo home page it was Society ->People and Places -> Sexuality -> Magazines then you were looking at naked bodies.

It was pretty easy in the old days because every page had a list of “Links” and everyone linked to Yahoo. It’s harder now because no-one wants to link to Other Sites.

But now there is We Heart It and clicking to porn is a feasible activity again and I hereby challenge you.

I can web that smut in 12:


And your mother’s maiden name too

Dear Internet,

I am not sure whose idea it was to make me choose impossible to remember passwords making it inevitable that I will forget them – but it was a silly idea.

But not nearly as silly as letting me recover my password using my mother’s maiden name and my place of birth both of which pieces of information are readily available online. Even if they weren’t, I gave the same super-secret pieces of information to every single web site on the internet. Oh! And my first pet and my favourite movie.

Let me give you a hint: THOSE AREN”T SECRET

Luckily for me, when you ask me your silly questions, I type random crap into the answers.

Ha! You can’t fool me!


R. Clown