It’s 3am at the Hotel Fifty. Only the rumble of the train and the roar of the traffic disturbs the silence of the over-active air-conditioner. Our hero is sleeping softly.
Mysterious Stranger: Fuck! What is this shit??!
Our hero awakes. Startled by the noise and the stranger in his room, he sits bolt upright in his bed.
Our Hero: Who the fuck are you?
Stranger: Who the fuck are YOU?
Our hero gets out of bed wearing his usual sleeping attire, which is to say: nothing.
Our Hero: Get the fuck out of my room!
*Stranger jabs finger at our hero’s naked chest*
Stranger: No! YOU get the fuck out of MY room!
Our hero and the stranger are now eyeball to eyeball. It is evident that the stranger is very, very drunk.
Our Hero: You need to leave, RIGHT NOW!
Stranger: No! YOU need to leave right now!
Dialog continues in this vein for several minutes before….
Stranger: Fuck this! I am going to bed!
Stranger gets in Our Hero’s bed.
Our hero calls the front desk…
Our Hero (agitated): There is an intruder in my room.
Voice on Phone: There is an intruder in your Room? How did he get in?
Our Hero: I don’t know. He just showed up.
Voice on Phone: I’ll be right there.
*our Hero puts on some shorts*
*knock on door*
*our hero indicates strange man in his bed*
Hotel Dude: You need to leave! Right now!
Stranger in Bed: No! he needs to leave! right now!
*Stranger notices pile of our Hero’s dirty laundry*
*Stranger throws laundry at our hero*
Stranger: get your fucking shit out of my room!
Hotel Dude: I’m calling the police.
* time passes*
* stranger leaves*
Police: do you want to press charges
Our hero: I just want to sleep.
Hotel dude: make sure you put the bar thing on your door.
Our hero: ya,thanks. I will.