Hey! Teacher! Leave those kids alone!

The WallAs I mentioned at our reunion, we had quite a few stories of teacher on pupil violence. Mine was best 🙂

It was the end of the third year (8th grade for the ‘mercans)  and we had to pick our subjects for ‘O’ Level so Paul and I went to speak with Mr Lewis to get some advice.

As a result, we were late coming into Mrs Timm’s history class. We so often were, but this time we had a rock solid excuse.

So we milked it.

Mrs Timm [angry]: Where have YOU been?

Kevin [shame-faced]: Er….

Paul [shame-faced]: Ermm…

Kevin [frantic]: Where shall we say we were?

Paul [scheming]: What if we tell her we were talking to someone?

Kevin [relieved]: Sure. Who?

Paul [delighted]: How about we say we were talking to Mr Lewis?

Kevin [delighted]: OK. Let’s say that.

Paul & Kevin [together]: We were talking to Mr Lewis.

Mrs Timm [still angry]: You know I can check?

Kevin & Paul [together. shocked]: Er? Really?

Kevin [conspiring]: Shall we change our excuse?

Paul [assertive]: No. Let’s stick with Mr Lewis.

Paul & Me [together]: We were talking to Mr Lewis.

We forgot all about it as taunting Mrs Timm was just the usual harmless fun and, anyway, we were telling the truth.

We forgot about the incident until the next day when we heard the Tasmanian Devil coming up the stairs to room 41, four at a time. The door almost burst off its hinges and it wasn’t Taz. It was much worse.

It was Basher Lewis. And he was very, very angry.

Basher Lewis [very, very angry]: How dare you take my name in vain!

[Basher Lewis takes backhanded swing at Kevin. Kevin ducks. Basher Lewis misses]

[Basher Lewis tries a forehand and connects with Kevin’s cheek]

Basher Lewis [angrier]: Why…

[Basher Lewis hits Paul open-handed in right ear]

Basher Lewis [ibid]: did…

[SMACK!]

Basher Lewis [ibid]: you…

[POW!]

Basher Lewis [ibid]: lie…

[SOCK!]

Basher Lewis [ibid]: to…

[CRACK!]

Basher Lewis [ibid]: Mrs Timm????????????

[sound of sobbing from the girls in the next row]

Kevin: But…

Paul: We…

It’s hard to tell your side of the story when blows are raining down on your head and eventually our teacher, Mr Gooden, decided to intervene and walked us out of the class.

Don’t know what happened next with Mr Lewis but we never did get to tell our side of the story. Until now. I hope he read it and feel guilty:-)

[I have another story with even more violence but that’ll have to wait for another day as I have to go check in for my flight]

Stuck on Stage 6

I Stumbled Upon a cool site for kids at the BBC. They have a whole bunch of games but I am playing this one: Questionaut Key Stage 2.

It’s a bit like the Python Challenge for little kids.

I am stuck on Stage 6 and was feeling silly because the quiz had been pretty easy up to that point. I tried to google the answer but it turns out that a lot of people are stuck on stage 3 🙂

I decided to stay stuck for a while and not look at the answer. Maybe my son will come to my rescue?

There are more puzzles there. Some easier, some harder. Fantastic site.