Choose your metaphors carefully.
Brexit is like a game of tiddlywinks
We played a game two and a half years ago and you lost. That’s why you want another game. Then what? Best of three?
But you cheated last time!
So did you!
But I won the previous game 50 years ago!
Brexit is like choosing where to go on holiday
We agreed we were going to Great Yarmouth this year!
But you promised me palm trees! Can’t we look at the catalogue again? We can still get our deposit back.
We’re going to Great Yarmouth. I don’t care if it is raining all week.
Brexit is like an open marriage
My friend Michael says I’ll be free to date other people. Like Scarlett Johansson.
Or Pierce Brosnan.
We can still see each other.
Brexit is like choosing from a menu
This chicken is still raw!
I’m sorry sir, but you ordered the chicken. If you eat your chicken you can order another meal later.
Brexit is like walking out on a marriage
We’ve been happily married for many years now. Well, mostly happy. I hate it when you squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle. I want a divorce.
But why? Is it because I let those homeless people sleep on the couch?
I need to control my own toothpaste.
You can have your own toothpaste, darling. You don’t need to leave to have your own toothpaste.
Leave means leave. We decided that two and a half years ago.
You decided that! I didn’t!
Brexit is like buying a car
If we tell them what we really want, we won’t get as good a deal. We have to walk away with no car to show them how serious we are. They’ll come running after us. You’ll see. They need this deal more than we do.
Brexit is like a divorce
I want two of the children and the dog. And half the Abba albums.
I don’t even like Abba. Can’t we stay friends? You can visit the children whenever you like.
Where will you sleep tonight? Please don’t go!
No! That’s it! I’m walking away with no deal.
Don’t come running after me!
Car Shopping by Pictures of Money on Flickr.
Scarlett Johansson by Rogelio A. Galaviz on Flickr.
Dinner Menu from aposac on Pixabay.
Family Torn Apart geralt on Pixabay.
Great Yarmouth by Airman Dillon Johnston
Lonely Man by Jim Jackson on Pexels.