This would have been far more compelling if I had posted it before Iowa but … oh well…

If Obama wins big in Iowa, Clinton’s strategy of running as a front-runner will need some re-thinking. She’ll have to go for some mud-slinging instead…which will do the opposite of help. Biden will drop out, endorse Obama and be his Veep. If Obama wins big in New Hampshire too, things look very dim for Billary. Edward’s message of class-warfare would be appealing to me in normal times but these aren’t normal times and I am sick of hearing about his father who worked in a mill. The next pres has an opportunity to restore some of America’s greatness and standing in the world community - but s/he can’t do it with 51% of the vote. No, now is not the time for class warfare. We need something bigger than that.

I don’t understand the other lot at all so I am less confident in my assertions….I don’t really get why any of the candidates are appealing to anyone. I mean, I can see why Ron Paul appeals to the people who never got over their Ayn Rand phase but he is too much of a nut-job to be a credible candidate and I can’t believe that a party who made alleged flip-floppery the major issue last time around would choose a heretic gymnastic car salesman who is more flexible than Nadia Comanenci. I understand why a know-nothing electorate would elect a proud-to-know-nothing populist who wants to abolish the income tax and replace it with a national sales tax but I can’t imagine that The Shadowy Cabal Who Actually Run Everything would allow him to get very far. It seems like a stretch that all the “I voted based on my values” people last time out would suddenly be terrified into jettisoning those values only to be saved by Super Mayor. Putting aside the fact that I disagree with him on almost every single issue, McCain seems to be the only decent one out of the lot of them which just goes to show how little I know because the other lot seem to hate him with a passion.

I am unashamedly throwing my hopes and predictions into the same big bucket and I hope and predict that the final race comes down to Obama vs McCain in November.  Maybe they’ll skip the silly name-calling that usually passes for political debate in this country and actually debate the issues a little. Wouldn’t that be nice. It might even be educational. Inspirational even.

Word of the year: transcend. Remember, you read it hear first.

You could go read David Brooks’s fine piece in the NYT but he pretty much says the same as me -  I would have said this

This is a huge moment. It’s one of those times when a movement that seemed ethereal and idealistic became a reality and took on political substance.

too but it would make me self-conscious.

Over lunch, Bob and I disagreed on several aspects of the English language and its origins.

According to Bob, English

1. has fewer irregular verbs than ‘typical’ languages (and is generally more regular)
2. is predominantly influenced by Latin and Greek

I disagree with both of those notions (English is more irregular and predominantly influenced by its Germanic roots) and am recording the disagreement here before we each run off to Wikipedia to find out the real story.

Warning: don’t read 15 Minute Lunch Blog while you are eating. Not unless you want to be cleaning bananas and custard off your screen.

Here’s a quick sample - in which our blogger lists the Google searches that people have used to find his blog and gives th searchers advice:

too big for my rectum — I think you are onto something here. This totally sounds like the beginning of a country song title, and it just needs to be finished up. Picture Jay Leno introducing Clay Aiken. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Clay Aiken singing “Too Big for My Rectum, Too Small for My Heart.” See? Perfect.

stinging nettles on labia —- Ow. I don’t even have a labia and this hurts me. Rule number one: If you are in an environment which may include stinging nettles, keep your labia covered at all times. Rule number two: For f*ck’s sake, see rule number one and put that thing away. No good can come of waving it around.

do men wash their ass? — Speaking as a man, I would have to say that yes, as a general rule, we do. I personally wash my at least twice a day, whether it needs it or not.

You can pretty much pick any post at random and laugh and laugh and laugh. Just make you are not eating. Or in an environment where you can’t laugh out loud or you might get a hernia or your scrotum might turn black.

 can I leave on my underwear for hernia surgery? - It depends upon where your hernia is. If you have an arm hernia or a face hernia, then by all means, keep your underwear on. If your hernia is in the normal place, i.e., directly underneath your underwear, then no you fuckwit, you cannot leave your underwear on.

why is my scrotum black? - This may or may not be an actual problem. Here’s what you do: Go look in a mirror, the come back here and take this quiz:

Question number one: Is the rest of you black? (Yes) (No)

If you answered yes, then you’re fine. It is supposed to be black. If you answered no, then get your black sack to a doctor asap, because it probably needs to be surgically removed. Your other option is to simply wait a week, because it will most likely fall off on its own.