Keeping Your Lunch Down

Warning: don’t read 15 Minute Lunch Blog while you are eating. Not unless you want to be cleaning bananas and custard off your screen.

Here’s a quick sample – in which our blogger lists the Google searches that people have used to find his blog and gives th searchers advice:

too big for my rectum — I think you are onto something here. This totally sounds like the beginning of a country song title, and it just needs to be finished up. Picture Jay Leno introducing Clay Aiken. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Clay Aiken singing “Too Big for My Rectum, Too Small for My Heart.” See? Perfect.

stinging nettles on labia —- Ow. I don’t even have a labia and this hurts me. Rule number one: If you are in an environment which may include stinging nettles, keep your labia covered at all times. Rule number two: For f*ck’s sake, see rule number one and put that thing away. No good can come of waving it around.

do men wash their ass? — Speaking as a man, I would have to say that yes, as a general rule, we do. I personally wash my at least twice a day, whether it needs it or not.

You can pretty much pick any post at random and laugh and laugh and laugh. Just make you are not eating. Or in an environment where you can’t laugh out loud or you might get a hernia or your scrotum might turn black.

 can I leave on my underwear for hernia surgery? – It depends upon where your hernia is. If you have an arm hernia or a face hernia, then by all means, keep your underwear on. If your hernia is in the normal place, i.e., directly underneath your underwear, then no you fuckwit, you cannot leave your underwear on.

why is my scrotum black? – This may or may not be an actual problem. Here’s what you do: Go look in a mirror, the come back here and take this quiz:

Question number one: Is the rest of you black? (Yes) (No)

If you answered yes, then you’re fine. It is supposed to be black. If you answered no, then get your black sack to a doctor asap, because it probably needs to be surgically removed. Your other option is to simply wait a week, because it will most likely fall off on its own.

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Ragged Clown

Based in San Jose, California

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