Archive for December 5th, 2007

Bad-ass Bible Verses

Posted on December 5th, 2007

Y’all are probably up on this stuff already, but Matt just sent me a link to an article about the next 25 years of video games. It was pretty funny. I’d give it 7 out of 10 (”heh. That was pretty funny.”)

Electronic Arts could crank out a Shrek 9 game in a couple of weeks that features nothing more than Shrek standing in your front yard, quietly staring and occasionally farting. The whole time your brain will be telling you it’s the most fun you’ve ever had.

Then I clicked on a story about the The 10 Most Irritatingly Impossible Old-School Video Games which I rate “ooh my cheekbones hurt”.

Saddest moment: Discovering that crouching allows Luke to put a little extra into his jumps, and realizing that the once-menacing star pilot has been reduced to nothing better than a platform-hopping, overweight plumber.

But then I found The 9 Most Bad-ass Bible Verses and snot came out of my nose.

“Emasculated by crushing?” Gah! Everything in the Bible has to be understood in context of the times these people were living in. And, apparently, these people lived in a time when “crushing” the nuts was so common that the crushed-nuts victims were an entire demographic that had to be accounted for in the law.

I don’t think I will sleep tonight. Thanks Matt.

Grendel’s Mother

Posted on December 5th, 2007

I was scanning the reviews to see whether Beowulf was suitable for my children when I came across this one in the New York Times

You don’t even have to wait for the flying spears and airborne bodies that — if you watch the movie in one of the hundreds of theaters equipped with 3-D projection — will look as if they’re hurtling directly at your head. You could poke your eye out with one of those things! Which is precisely what I thought when I first saw Ms. Jolie’s jutting breasts too.

Sounds like my kind of movie! Who cares whether the kids like it? Are her breasts 3d projected too?

Jeff saw it last week and his analysis was that Jazz might be scared by an early monster scene (I think she was three when she first saw the snake thingie in Larry Spotter) and he wondered about her attitude to nudity (she’s in favour of it).

Still undecided …but we’ll definitely see The Golden Compass especially now that the Catholic League is organizing a boycott.